It’s very unlike Jane to lose a fight. That’s why even though she was sick for so very long and endured so very much more that anyone ever should, I don’t think many of us would have bet against her coming out a winner in this last battle. I think Jane assigned me the job of eulogizing her because she knew she’d been my hero for over 25 years. The thing is I’ll bet 90% of us here today feel the same way. That’s because Jane had the heart of a writer, the soul of an activist, the tenacity of a marathon runner, the mind of a scholar and the warmth of your best friend.

According to her sister, Jane was a total tomboy in elementary school. From the moment her grandmother Mema handed her a tennis racquet at age six, she was a natural. It is said that an all woman experience at a young age shapes leadership and the 11 wonderful summers Jane spent at Chimney Corners Camp in Becket illustrates that. She rode horses, played softball, participated in archery, riflery, and tennis. Her affinity for nature was formed there, as was her lifelong love of picking blueberries! In a vision of what was to come, both she and Joan won the Award for being most helpful to the school at Plant Junior High graduation.

Jane and Joan dressed alike up until the twelfth grade. They drove their mother crazy, always having to have identical outfits. In high school Jane was an outstanding student at the top of her class. She loved to read and totally immersed herself in books and writing. Thus, she became an English major at UConn where she and Joan split up for the first time to go to school.

I think Jane’s greatest gift was surrounding herself with the best women on earth… not just the most successful… or the most brilliant… or the most giving… or the most powerful… but all of them. Ask her their mother’s names, their favorite movie, the thing about themselves they’d like to work on… and she knew that too. In fact she knew more about all kinds of stuff… poetry, politics, dirty jokes, baking, golf, computers, fishing, zoning variances, Hollywood romances… than anyone I ever met.

Jane grew visibly stronger and happier when she was able to encourage you to do accomplish a task you were sure you couldn’t do. She added an empathetic component to one of her favorite words “network” and nothing made her smile broader than when she arranged a good match. I can barely picture the last few decades of my life without the friends I would never have met and the opportunities I might never have known about if it wasn’t for Jane. My favorite story of the extent of her networking abilities was told to me by Ellen Eichelbaum who said that while Jane was in intensive care, she still managed to get her daughter a job. Above and beyond, that was Jane.

She hauled huge water bottles into The Women’s Record long before most of us petite flowers knew we could lift something that heavy. She looked forward to making speeches, off the cuff or chock full of carefully researched facts, like the rest of us look forward to hot fudge sundaes. She flowed seamlessly from one role to another… mother, wife, writer, nurse, activist, publisher, entrepreneur, and of course friend… much of the time burdened with health problems that would lay the rest of us low. She, like Erma Bombeck who also fought the fight against kidney disease, was charged with a passion and an energy that steamrolled over any setback.

Jane’s brainchild, The Women’s Record, spent its first few years sprawled throughout her home. We’d watch as she’d go from wooing a major bank to buy the back cover, to setting up dialysis for Buz, to proof reading every inch of copy on every page, to defrosting a chicken for dinner, to readying herself for a night on one of the many boards she sat on… all without coming up for air. That this newspaper survived at all was a miracle… solely a testament to the power that was Jane.

Her greatest pleasure, aside from being Nikki’s mom, was schmoozing with her friends. And since her clients, doctors, employees, the fruit man, the dry cleaner and her manicurist all fell into that category almost immediately after making her acquaintance, she was smiling a huge percentage of the time. Jane had an appetite for food, for facts, for friendship and she consumed all with equal gusto. She would probably have loved me to stop now to recite her awards, her citations, her many honors… dozens that poured in from universities, hospitals, local government, women’s groups, corporations and non profits… all awarded for a combination of her creativity, selflessness and balls… but that’s not why any of us are here. We’re here because we were blessed with the friendship of an extraordinary woman who seemed to know… and give… so much more than we did.

And right now I believe once again she’s onto something we don’t know, smiling that mega watt smile, playing golf with Buz, picking blueberries, and waiting for the rest of us to arrive to resume schmoozing.

Marcia Byalick