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FEATURING: Duffy
Spencer
 What
a great time of year to interview Dr. Duffy Spencer, a bright,
refreshing individual who exudes an aura of unconditional
acceptance. With the metamorphosis of summer to fall, we recognize
a woman who has positively changed herself and continues to
be instrumental in constructively changing the lives of others.
“Dr. Duffy” is a successful Gestalt therapist
and corporate trainer who specializes in the human side of
business. She hosts a radio talk show and is recognized for
her pubic speaking.
Tell me about your business.
I help people with addictive behaviors learn to forgive themselves.
I support them in refraining their self-destructive behavior,
as it is the only way they know to take care of themselves.
Do you live by a basic philosophy?
I am an Ethical Humanist. This is a non-theistic religion.
Our belief is that all life is sacred. We all have a divine
spark and through this we bring out the best in others; in
so doing we bring out the best in ourselves. We value deed
before creed. Additionally, I live a Gestalt approach to life.
This means living authentically, and creatively connecting
with one’s self and others. Interestingly enough, the
philosophy of Gestalt dovetails with my Ethical Humanist philosophy.
Are there people that were catalysts in your life?
Yes, there are three people. Firstly, Miss Campa, a teacher
in junior high school. I was growing up in an alcoholic family
and I was flunking Algebra. She was a Social Studies teacher
who reached out to me during my lunch period. She relearned
Algebra to specifically help me go from failing to an 82 on
the final. Miss Campa was the first adult who spoke to me
like I was a human being! She validated me as to my essential
goodness and beauty. Secondly, my therapist Meda Steiner.
I was married by the age of eighteen to an older, abusive
man. As a result, I developed claustrophobia and agoraphobia.
I never new I didn’t feel safe until I felt “emotionally
safe” with Dr. Steiner. After three weeks, I was cured
of all of my phobias. She helped me to see it was not elevators
and subways I was afraid of being trapped in; it was in my
life. I didn’t know at the time how to get out of my
abusive marriage. Dr. Steiner helped me to believe that I
had the ability to do it. I realized that no man was going
to rescue me; I had to rescue myself! Lastly, there is Lyn
Dobrin. She helped me see what a healthy family lives like
and she believed in me. She knew the proper combination of
both supporting me and challenging me.
Do you volunteer your time to worthy causes?
The Ethical Humanist Society (former Youth Leader and Assistant
for Special Services)
The LI Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence.(Leadership
Council)
Nassau County National Organization for Women – Radio
Talk Show Host for their program, “Speaking NOW”
What have you found rewarding in your career?
Getting a Ph.D. in my thirties. This personally gave me confidence
to professionalize key issues that I was passionate about.
My career keeps me in a state of constant creativity and choice.
Do you have advice for our women readers?
Live authentically. It is difficult for people to play perfect
roles with their perfect masks.
Do not be in denial about your own strengths and weaknesses.
Be willing to make the effort to forge your own path. Be clear
about who you really are and what you are all about, so that
you are not working hard to push a chest up a mountain only
to find it filled with stones (like false goals such as status,
prestige, material things). Recognize your true needs. Resist
the temptation to buy into cultural messages of being compulsively
self-reliant, as in the belief that “I have to do it
myself or something is wrong with me.” Part of being
self-supporting is knowing when to reach out to others as
resources for yourself. We confuse support as being negative,
but there is negative and positive support. Look for all the
sources of nourishment in your environment. Open your eyes
to all the bounty of the universe that is there for you.
What do you do for fun?
I love dancing with my husband - ballroom, Latin, and rock
and roll. Also, spending time with my friends.
www.liwomen.com
November 2005 |
Lhea Scotto, C.P.C., is President of Quantum Career Services, Inc., specializing
in job placement and professional resume writing. She is a board member
of the Long Island Center for Business and Professional Women and the
United States Women’s Chamber of Commerce, LI Affiliate. She is
also co-chair of the March of Dimes Women of Distinction. Lhea welcomes
your comments. Email her at 
