How vividly I remember that day back in the late 1960s, the day my mother presented me with a mysterious lime green cardboard box.  Roughly the size of a typewriter, the box was plain, except for the top, which had a dreamy sketch of a young girl brushing her hair in front of a mirror. 

Neatly arranged inside the box were a dozen bulky sanitary pads and a white elastic belt with little metal loops. Also tucked away in the box was a booklet titled, "Your Changing Body," which contained advice about hygiene, a basic explanation of menstruation as well as sketches of the internal female reproductive system. 

 “You’re going to be needing these soon," my mother said, handing me the box.  It was pretty much all she said, although she did recommend that I read the book thoroughly. 

This low-key approach to teaching me about menstruation was certainly an improvement over the way in which my Depression-era mother learned about it herself. 

After discovering blood in her underwear, my then 13-year-old mother immediately raced off in tears to her older sister. Poor thing was convinced she was dying. 

Upon finding out the truth, my mother was then subject to rinsing out blood-soaked rags in metal buckets each month down in the musty cellar of their humble home. This is what coming of age meant to her and other young women in the 1930s.  Menstruation was certainly not a subject openly discussed.  It was a shameful matter best kept hidden, preferably in the basement. 

Flash forward to the present, the early days of the 21st century. 

It’s time to have a talk with my elder daughter, Katharina, age 9.  When she was a babe in arms, I promised myself I’d be open with her and respond honestly to her questions. 

Although she has been aware that women bleed each month, (heaven knows how many times she’s seen me racing off to the linen closet for tampons over the years) she is not fully aware of the particulars. 

When it came time to launch a series of what I hope will be ongoing talks about the physical and emotional changes she is about to experience, I did what I do best.  I thoroughly researched the topic and came back with a bag full of books. I discovered quite an assortment on the topic, some aimed at the child herself, other books targeted to mothers. 

A far cry from the flowery and sometimes oblique pamphlets produced in the 1950s and 60s by the feminine hygiene companies, the contemporary books I unearthed are frank, funny and highly informative. Most cover related topics as well, not just monthly bleeding and reproductive basics. 

One book even broaches the ultimate embarrassing situation for a young girl:  You are about to pay for a box of tampons in the drug store, and realize, to your horror, that the cashier is a boy you know from school!  What ever do you do? 

What follows is a sampling of the better books I’ve discovered.  By no means do these choices represent all that is available for girls or their parents. But these are a good start, and have been immensely helpful for me. 

"Before she Gets her Period: Talking with your Daughter about Menstruation: by Jessica Gilloly. The author is a marriage, family and child counselor whose objective is to help parents assess their own feelings, and start a meaningful dialogue with their own daughters. 

One chapter begins with a simple writing exercise for the mothers, "Can you remember your first period?" Many women find it difficult to write their own stories, mainly because they thought their experiences were terribly important. 

The book also contains eye-opening vignettes from young girls themselves on their early experience. Most thought-provoking for me was the chapter on how our culture shapes our experience. This includes a list of society’s unwritten rules on menstruation, such as never let males know when you are menstruating, call materials used to catch the flow, "sanitary supplies," and imply that women who use them are dirty. 

"Sweet Secrets: Stories of Menstruation" by Kathleen O’Grady and Paula Wansbrough. A clever blend of biological and cultural facts presented in an amusing manner, this Canadian book is a gem. 

I especially liked the chapter on Celebrations, which offers tidbits from around the world (for example: the Kwakiutl of the Pacific Northwest use menstrual blood as a way of protecting themselves from evil forces) as well as suggestions for girls to celebrate their own "sweet secret." 

Ideas include simple things like getting something special for yourself the day you have your first period, or wearing something red on the first day of your period each month. 

"Growing Up, It’s a Girl Thing: Straight Talk about First Bras, First Periods and Your Changing Body," by Mavis Jukes.

This very practical, yet funny book is aimed at the girls themselves and addresses everything from selecting a first bra to choosing the right kind of menstrual protection, i.e. pads vs. tampons, and even discusses what to do if you get your period when you’re away from home. 

No need for a girl to read straight through, as the book is broken into palatable chunks and sprinkled with light, pleasant graphics. 

"It’s my Body," a chapter on abuse, urges young readers to trust their feelings, and tell a responsible adult if they sense that something is wrong, or that another adult is trying to do something that is inappropriate. It even offers the toll-free number for Child Help USA Hotline. 

"The Period Book: Everything You Don’t Want to Ask (But need to know)"  by Karen and Jennifer Gravelle. 

To get a better idea of what girls want to know about their periods, the author wisely collaborated with her 15-year-old niece on this book. The result is a down-to-earth collection of questions, answers and sympathetic, yet cartoon-like illustrations. 

“Is this normal?" a chapter on physical changes, has amusing sketches of girls with very different body shapes and addresses the variations a girl is likely to see among her peers. 

There’s advice on first visits to the gynecologist, PMS, skin care, "weird emotions," and cramps.  I can’t imagine a young girl reading this and not feeling reassured. 

I only wish books like these were available when I was a pre-teen and hungry for advice. 

Note:  A version of this story originally appeared in BookWomen – “a reader’s community for those who love women’s words,” which is published six times a year by the Center for Feminist Reading, Minnesota Women’s Press.  You can visit their web site at:  www.womenspress.com

 Janet Mazur is a freelance writer and editor whose work has appeared in newspapers and magazines in the USA, Australia and in England. She lives in coastal New Jersey with her husband, Kurt Cavano, and their two daughters, Katharina, 9, and Julianna, 5.  She is a member of the NAMC’s board  of  trustees, and has been a member of  the Mothers Center of Monmouth County, New Jersey for the last nine years.  Janet welcomes your comments. Email: feedback@liwomen.com   Attention:  Janet