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To
Esq or Not To Esq
By: Laurel Ross
Dating
sucks. Ok, there, I said it. I can say this with some
authority, having invested part of my summer to my dating
project. An attempt to meet new men and date them. Sounds
easy, right? Here are two things that I discovered:
1.
Finding single men is difficult.
2. Finding single, attractive, intelligent, fun, non-insane
men is nearly impossible.
I
am a reasonably attractive, reasonably intelligent,
funny person. I am self-sufficient, earn a decent living,
and am capable of sustaining multiple friendships, good
relations with co-workers, and have fairly good family
ties. Yes, I do need to drop a few more pounds and let
go of some of my control issues, but on the whole, I
think I am a reasonably 'good catch.'
I
posted an ad on an on line dating service. I sat back,
and waited for the inquiring emails to come barreling
into my mailbox. And waited. And waited. I decided to
be more proactive, and went back on line and started
sending emails to men I found attractive and/or interesting.
Then I waited for them to respond. And waited. I got
two responses to 30 inquiries, and eventually agreed
to go on a date with one of the men.
Off
we went to dinner. A pleasant dinner. Mainly he talked,
and I followed up, but not the worst date of my life.
We spoke on the phone again, and I agreed to a second
date. Big mistake. He was twenty minutes late. We didn't
converse, we each monologued. He had two topics of conversation,
having used all his good stuff up on the first date.
I tried a couple of different conversation avenues,
but got nowhere. We managed to get through dinner, and
said our goodbyes.
I
tried an experiment. I went onto a singles chatroom,
first with a screen name along the lines of "LRESQ."
My profile said female, single, Long Island. I greeted
the room, and sat for half an hour, without a single
IM or hello back. I signed off, switched names to LR3566,
profile that said, female, single, Nassau County, then
signed back on to the same room. Within 3 minutes, I
received 4 IMS. And three of them just wanted cyber
sex.
So
now I've confirmed that my career is threatening to
men. Not something I can change today or tomorrow. The
bottom line is, I am who I am. If that means that I
am less dateable, so be it. In the interim, I will keep
on trying, and try not to be discouraged. If anyone
has any thoughts, or better yet, knows a nice, intelligent,
attractive, fun single man who is not intimidated by
dating a lawyer, let me know…
Editors
Note: Laurel Ross welcomes your (gentle) comments. Her
email is LaurelRoss39@aol.com
oct
2002
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