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In Sickness and In Health
By:
Laurel Ross
I recently spent time with my Aunt
Tedi and Uncle Sid. They are a loving couple, who
will celebrate their 60th wedding anniversary in
November. Their son lives out in California, and
I’m the only relative left within a three
hour drive. I try and visit a couple of times a
year, and consider them ‘sort of’ grandparents.
They are an interesting couple.
Uncle Sid is actually my mother’s step-uncle.
When my great grandmother’s husband died leaving
her with three small children, she eventually married
his brother, who was widowed with four children.
Uncle Sid is the only one of the seven children
who remains alive. He’s pushing 85 now, and
had a serious heart attack that has left him with
short term memory loss and a stack of medications.
He’s confined to a wheelchair due to spinal
surgery two years ago, and continues to believe
that he will walk again (a hope that no one is willing
to take from him). He still has a huge smile, a
shock of white hair, and a great hug. He loves to
talk, particularly about a sports club he started
65 years ago, the Olympic Club, and Providence politics.
Aunt Tedi just turned 80 herself,
and looks fantastic. She was forced into retirement
this fall when the film developing plant she had
worked at for decades relocated to Florida. Aunt
Tedi has always been an avid golfer, but due to
Sid’s illness, she has cut out her twice weekly
golf rounds.
Their house hasn’t changed
a bit since I was a kid. It’s like taking
a trip back in time. The kitchen is festooned with
hundreds of photos of friends and family –
pictures of Sue and I as children, alongside current
pictures of my nieces and nephews. News clippings
abound, as do framed party invitations for all the
momentous life event parties that they threw. He
still calls her ‘dolly,’ she affectionately
refers to him as Mr. Green.
I watched the two of them banter
back and forth. The absolute love that they have
for each other is apparent to all who meet them.
I’ve been concerned about the stress on Aunt
Tedi being the primary caretaker for Uncle Sid,
and I suggested hiring additional home care aides
to help with Uncle Sid. I thought that if she could
golf at least once a week, it might help her. She
looked at me as if I were nuts. “He’s
my husband, if I have to give up golf to take care
of him, no great loss.” A different generation,
a different commitment.
I thought of all the issues I wrestle
with; about aging and commitment. Here were incredible
examples of both. In sickness and in health. Richer
or poorer. Together. They love each other with all
their hearts, and I love them both with all my heart.
I can only hope that I age as gracefully as they
have, and that someday someone will love me with
that level of commitment.
Lauren Ross welcomes your gentle
comments. She can be reached at LaurelRoss39@aol.com
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