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Let Freedom Ring
By: Laurel Ross
Several
weeks ago, my sister Sue came to New York to attend
a trade show. About a year ago, she started a home based
stationery business. The show was a chance for her to
take a mini-vacation from her family and write it off
as a business expense. Together, we plotted her four
day trip to the big city and accommodations at my apartment.
We went to the theater, walked around New York, spent
time at the trade show, visited with Shanti, and did
touristy stuff.
It
was a nice visit with my sister, the longest time we've
spent together without her kids in years. I had enjoyed
her company, and getting to know her better. After she
left, I admit I was thrilled to regain sole possession
of my one bedroom apartment and my life.
I
was a bit upset by Sue's money issues. My brother in
law Dan is the primary bread winner in the family, and
he keeps incredibly tight hold on the purse strings.
Throughout her visit, Sue talked about money and prices
and worried about how was she going to explain her purchases
and spending to Bill. She made such a fuss about it,
I wound up paying for most everything because it was
easier than listening.
I've
been on Sue's back for years about taking a more active
role in her family's finances. I know more about how
her family finances are invested then she does. I believe
that married or single, everyone needs to have a reasonable
understanding of their own finances. Sue's ignored me
on this topic.
Not
being in control of your own purse strings and having
to account for every dollar spent is a horrible way
to live life. I'm sure that it reinforces Sue's less
than ideal self-image issues. It's got to make her feel
like a kid having to ask for every dollar from Dan.
Certainly, she can't feel like a full and equal partner
in the marriage.
So
the night after she left, I wandered into a jewelry
store. A ring caught my eye, I tried it on and fell
in love with it. So I bought it. Because I liked it.
Because I don't have to justify my purchases to anyone.
Because I work hard and deserve it. Because I can. I
wear my freedom ring daily. Every time I look at it,
it reminds me of the freedom inherent in my life. It
makes my smile. Because I can!
Editors
Note: Laurel Ross welcomes your (gentle) comments. Her
email is LaurelRoss39@aol.com
july
2002
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