One of my new favorite books to recommend to coaching clients
is "The Feeling Good Handbook" by David D. Burns, M.D. This is
a book about depression. The subtitle reads: "Overcome
depression, conquer anxiety, enjoy greater intimacy."

So why am I recommending a book about depression to my
clients? This book is about a type of treatment called
cognitive behavioral therapy. The word "cognition" means
"thought" and this book is a common sense look at changing the
way people think and thus changing their behavior.

In "The Feeling Good Handbook" Dr. Burns lists "The Ten Forms
of Twisted Thinking" that occur when people are depressed.
These ten forms also exist when people are not depressed and
they exist within many, many sales professionals,
entrepreneurs and business owners. If you use any of these
twisted forms (and most of us do in one way or another) it
will negatively impact your sales. I am listing all 10 so that
you can judge for yourself. The following list of "Twisted
Thinking" is paraphrased from "The Feeling Good Handbook" by
David D. Burns, M.D.

1. All-or-nothing thinking

Everything is black or white. If a situation falls short of
perfect, then it's a total failure. An example of all-or-
nothing thinking is dieters who have one cookie and then
proceed to eat the entire bag since they've already blown
their diet. Another example would be sales people who because
they do not have the time to make 100 calls in a day make no
calls.

2. Overgeneralization

Seeing a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of
defeat. People who overgeneralize use words such as "always"
or "never." "Cold calling never works for me." "Prospects
always reject me."

3. Mental filter

Picking out a single negative detail and dwelling on it to the
exclusion of everything else. An example: You receive many
compliments from your associates about your presentation. If,
however, you receive even one mildly critical comment you
obsess about it and forget about all of the positive comments.

4. Discounting the positive

You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't
count." If you do a good job, you may tell yourself that it
wasn't good enough or that anyone could have done as well.

5. Jumping to conclusions

You interpret things negatively when there are no facts to
support your conclusion. There are two categories here:
**Mind reading: You arbitrarily conclude that someone is
reacting negatively to you with no evidence to back that up.
You arbitrarily conclude that a prospect does not want to
speak with you with no evidence to back that up.
**Fortune telling: You predict that things will turn out
badly. Before a prospecting call you tell yourself, "They're
not interested." "I'm bothering them." "They'll probably say
'no.'"

6. Magnification

You exaggerate the importance of your (or your company or
product or service) problems and shortcomings. You also
minimize the importance of your (or your company or product or
service) desirable qualities.

7. Emotional reasoning

You assume that your negative emotions necessarily reflect the
way things really are. "I am uncomfortable making cold calls"
therefore  "People do not like cold calls" therefore  "Cold
calling does not work."

8. "Should" statements

You tell yourself that things should be the way you hoped or
wanted them to be. "I should have made that sale." "Musts,"
"ought's" and "have to's" are similar offenders. Should
statements that are directed against yourself lead to guilt
and frustration. Should statements that are directed against
other people also lead to anger and frustration. "My prospect
should call me back."

9. Labeling

Labeling is an extreme form of all-or-nothing thinking. You
attach a negative label to yourself or to others. Example: You
make a mistake and then say to yourself, "I'm a loser."
Labeling is quite irrational because you are not the same as
what you do. These labels lead to anger, anxiety, frustration,
and low self-esteem.

You may also label others. When a prospect does not respond as
you had hoped you may tell yourself, "He's a jerk." Then you
feel that the problem is with that person's character instead
of with their thinking or behavior. This makes you feel
hostile and leaves little room for constructive communication.

10. Personalization and blame

You hold yourself personally responsible for an event that
isn't entirely under your control. An appointment with a new
prospect is cancelled because that prospect has left the
company. You think, "If only I was better at prospecting, this
wouldn't happen."

Some people do the opposite. They blame other people or their
circumstances for their problems and they overlook ways that
they might be contributing to the problem. Blame doesn't
usually work very well.

Wendy Weiss, "The Queen of Cold Calling," is a sales trainer,
author and sales coach. Her recently released program, "Cold
Calling College," and/or her book, "Cold Calling for Women," can be
ordered by visiting http://www.queenofcoldcalling.com.
Contact her at
wendy@wendyweiss.com. Get Wendy's free e-zine at
http://www.queenofcoldcalling.com.

© 2006 Wendy Weiss

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